secretish blogs... from the once great promoter, who should have watched what the wished for.

secretish blogs... from the once great promoter, who should have watched what the wished for.

September 07, 2019

I am nothing but a message. Not even a messenger with another life, who will deliver other messages. I am the message. I am here. Life is over. I will hopefully not live to see it. I do not want and will not be the cause of it, that is a vow I do not have to take, just true.

I do not want to be seen as insane or ungrateful. I expected at some point my mild eccentricities would be eclipsed by my generosity with wealth and fame. Or something. I wanted more than anything to be normal, yet despised normal -- my intelligence did not allow me to fit in. Period. I lacked the graces the neo liberals require, and the mind the intellectuals would find original -- I am not original at all, except by error in not following the norm, in many cases.

I have come across a problem that is too large for me to think about. Now a part of me does want to save my ass. I cannot allow that to be my moral compass however. Holding onto mortality like it is the be all and end all is ridiculous to me, except in a situation where my flesh is needed, and now more than ever this seems the case.

Preparations unseen have left the continental usa at risk. War has come here with a nuclear tinge, and this makes all moves precarious. I am not sure how NOT to set off fuses, and would not light them.

I suppose I am supposed to try to be scary at this point, though I really want to be reassuring. This revolution must be negotiated away, we have more important things to do.... yes, it has to happen before we can get started, but I do not know who is what and where and … keeping me ignorant, then suddenly showing me a supposed enemy, baiting me with their crimes, will no longer work. My trust is zero now, as it should have always been. I will act as if I am getting it right... just in case, know that mistrust can lead to doing nothing, and believing nothing, and I will not go there again. My eyes are open and my body numbed and painfree enough to continue this.

Comments

Explaining THESE HERE WORDS A BIT.

This is the beginnings of what will be my seventh book. The Narrator is Jesus, and the times is in a future where climate change has flooded the coasts, and internal refugees are flooding into the Midwest, particularly Chicago, where there is fresh water. I hope this book will be a triage unit for all those mentally suffering over the impending end of the world. This is a Jesus who believes science is a gift from God, not a challenge to him... doctors created to heal, not him, etc. A modern, secular educated person. Who wakes up to being Jesus one day... and is told many knew, he started growing wings that were cut off, because the catholic church feared a being with wings would usurp their power, and they did not know if it was good or bad... I will have sermons that are more essays on the human condition, drawn from modern research and my fourteen years of university...credibility, I lost that when I began writing about my intelligence work, which reminds me.. in 07 I had what my cia files say, my 'personality adjusted for a mission,' and I went from writing comedy very hateful toward religion though I was spiritual a lot of my life not then... God seemed like an excuse... to after three blank days in a hospital following a mysterious seizure, I discovered myself experiencing what I later read was the classic sign of being brainwashed; I did not think I was someone else, but I knew I was not the person who I thought I was.... and you search for an identity, and I got very religious, and then went home and began writing in the voice of Jesus, and also knew I was bugged, at first, then came the cameras. Long story covered other places in other books. I do give away three at LULU to show a before and after should you wish to read them.

Entry Points

This blog contains a book in progress, the writing of the prose just now beginning in July of 19. I have five books out, and much published on the web. This blog will be narrated by a Jesus, a narrative voice I have used in the past, though in this book he is a different character in a lot of ways, less angry than waking up jesus, which was provoked by intelligence 'adjusting my personality for a mission,' as my CIA EYES ONLY files read. I have been involved in that world since … that is a story you can find on my facebook feed in my notes, especially those post 011 after I was interrogated for mass murder for ten months, during which I was off line. I may be wrong about the dates, though I felt like a whistle blower back then, I do not anymore. I want this book to be peaceful, with enough action to bring a tentative justice to a world falling apart. The climate has been destroyed, and many of the rich have gone underground, though a lot of their DUMBS were nuked by pissed off people who were going to die because of what those who will live have done... a lot of people know what I know, and there ae various groups in intelligence fighting over space, to a degree. This is not about that. This is bringing order to parts of a society that has fallen apart, even if it is just one region, protected by a Jesus who is miraculous over and over though by the choice of God, not when he wants them, etc... like he felt abandoned on the cross. God often knows better than to answer his prayers, because they would change his plan, which is better. Anyways, these will be sermons, narration of Jesus saving people physically, as well as a team that will be doing this, who will get a lot of the book... but it will not be about a new religion, or worshipping him, because he has his faults, has been humbled before the whole world by tapes taken against his will, in his apartment..... and other humiliating things that caused blood to spill over something I just did not realize. Was never told, in fact quite the opposite seemed to be taking place... then weird things would happen.

My words have killed. If you examine them you will get a bit of insight into why zealots, and some people who were unstable were attracted to this, though primarily they were people of prominence, and just regular religious people and others converted by the presence of Christ and miracles being announced. I am not sure of the details. I was intent on starting a revolution in some future I could not imagine really happening, when it was. But I did not set this up... what happened was not my plan. I did not know the intelligence world, or the underground balances of power, when I set up my plan -- I thought the world was about voting for the right people, etc..

I gave up on politics, but when I got back in, I learned of the other groups about then. Found out eagles, as the politicians are code named, are one group among many, and have less control that people think, way less. Two of the eight groups I knew of could take them, perhaps one or two alone? But people want the status quo, well.. the oligarchy does. Normal folk are happiest when the day they are in is similar to the day before, and is projected to be similar to the next day... change is hard.

So, welcome. I am sure I have lost a few readers by explaining a bit of the intelligence work; people are afraid, I know and want to laugh this stuff off, like climate change. Amazing denial. This book is about breaking through the denial that climate change is not real, and begin to talk about what is to come, and how to deal with this in our minds and emotions.... as much as is possible, and a plan for living morally through times that will tempt immorality -- by this I mean predation, not sex lives, or drug use, or any of these stupid things. My Jesus knows everyone goes to heaven, that they reincarnate over and over, though there is a punishment for some... no hell.